At home. By myself. In my kitchen.

Tried a badass move.

Recorded it so I could share the badassness with everyone:

Made a second attempt. Didn’t want to fail.

Will I succeed? … watch the video!

It’s gonna leave a bruise. There’s blood, too.

Weekend included:

1. A consultation. Won’t tell secret – but here’s a good hint: Conversation from consultation: “Mrs. Storm, please highlight with this marker the areas you would consider treating….Um, Ma’am, you’ve highlighted the entire portion.” My response, “Doc, I’m a hairy girl… don’t judge a book by it’s cover.”

2. Worked out. Can’t remember WOD. Involved rowing….

"At least it's not burpees. At least it's not burpees."

3. Went to Sunglass Hut and explained that Phizz ate my sunglasses and I needed a new pair. They said I would get 50% off my next pair if I brought a piece of my old, “scratched” glasses in. Unfortunately, pissed about the destruction of my nice sunglasses, I threw every piece away… nothing to prove – so I can’t get discount. I said I could show a picture from my blog… big NO. FML.

4. Found an indoor shooting range. I HATE guns. I am SCARED of ammo. So, of course, I am going to make myself do it. The man asked, “Do you own your own gun?” I responded, “Do I look like I own a gun?” He then asked, “Why are you interested in shooting?” My response, “I want to be a badass.” He started laughing and shouted to the back, “Hey Billy, this gal wants to be a badass… hardy har hardy har!”

5. Trip to hospital with a friend (friend asked me not to post about it – so can’t share details). Was there from midnight Friday night to 6am Saturday morning. P.S. emergency room – sux balls and smells like it, too. I know my friend was in very good care however…

"let's not claim we give excellent or superb care... just in case..."

6. By the time I got home I had 30 minutes sleep and then got back up to go to my Saturday MBA class from 9am -4pm. Yeah, Saturday classes suck — but I dig the subject matter this semester – Strategic Management. I loooove strategiez.

7. After class went to a surf shop where I bought Nate a present! I tried some clothes on. Problem is, still hate my body. Shopping puts me in a bad mood real fast. Shouldn’t I be digging clothes shopping by now??

8. From there went to Matt and Lori’s awesome BBQ. I did some beer drinking, cloud watching with Abriella, boxing with Geoff, spider fighting with Abraham, bullshitting with Maddie and Jaime, bean-bag-tossing, hot dog eating and hugging. Oh, and Lori has a bottle opener on the BOTTOM of her flip-flops. Badass.

9. I left at what I thought was 2am. Turns out I was home by 9pm.

10. Went to 5th Avenue UMC church today. Everyone there is so awesome – lots of hugs. A table in the social hall was filled with goodies they’ve been saving to ship to Nate.

11. About half way through the day my feet started to hurt. And – when a girl’s feet start to hurt from some ridiculous high heels — nothing else matters. So, I kind of turned into a bitch.

12. Got to work out with some awesome ladies from Carmen & Carmen Salon – we did a private training session for them at CrossFit Coastal today. They bonded. We got to expose some cute new women to the program.

13. Got to watch part of a movie with Jason Biggs. He’s hot. Which means, I’m narcissistic… because we look just alike.

14. Chatted with Devin… about starting college and such.  It’s nice getting to bitch about the cost of text books with your sister (11 years younger).

I guess I can admit that I’ve been in a bit of a mood/funk the past few days. If were on a normal cycle – I’d be on my period. So, I’ll blame that.

Man-handled by a snatch

We continued to work on our fitness benchmarks today.

Vertical Jump: Goal 18 inches, TStorm = 17″
Push-ups: Goal 30, TStorm = 35
Rope Climb: Goal, one 20′ climb, TStorm = one 20′ climb
L-Sit: Goal, 30 seconds, TStorm = 7 seconds

Then for the workout we did as many kettlebell snatches as we could in 10 minutes. Obviously, if my form was correct I wouldn’t have these big ass bruises on each forearm… looking like a victim of domestic violence.

I did about 145 snatches. I thought that was pretty good – until the gal next to me said she got 187.

Then I realized it was after 10am and I had to be at the University before noon for my TA class. There was no way I’d have time to run to Hampstead and shower and then get back to campus and spend minutes looking for parking… so I made a badass decision – to be that stinky girl allll day… from 11:30am until 9:30pm. Ripe!

Since I was there all day, I ate lunch at the student union. I had some sort of salad with chicken on it from the Asian place…. I have been having assplosions ever since.

2 new goals: make a friend near campus with a shower and remember to pack something healthy to eat. Hell, I should make a friend with healthy food waiting for me in their fridge and eat it while I’m showering at their house. Yes.

Today I had an “ah ha – that was a badass moment” as an after-thought.

I was on the phone with Nate this morning – catching up and chatting about his flight schedule, our future, my disdain for babies, etc. And because I like to multi-task, I decided to go into the garage and tackle the recycling that has been accumulating in mini-mountains all over the place in there.

By clearing up a path in the garage by removing all the scattered trash and recycling – I rediscovered our nifty little water softener. The one that requires salt pellets every so often. I opened the lid and peaked inside – it was at an alarmingly low level.

To the left of the water softener sat three 40# sacks of salt pellets. With the phone nestled in-between my ear and shoulder, I hoisted a bag up, ripped the top off and poured the pellets into the barrel. I did this for 2 of the bags.

Then I clapped the dust off my hands and went inside to make breakfast — eggs with bacon chunks. Still chatting with Nate and calculating the math to see if we were at the half-way point in the deployment.

It occurred to me later – I lifted those 40# salt bags like it was nothin’. A couple of years ago that would have been a huge pain in the ass. I probably would have had to take cups and scoop the salt pellets out of the bag one at a time.

The same thing happened the other day when I bought a 56# bag of dogfood at Costco. Like the Grace challenge, I clean and jerked that shit up into my cart without even thinking about it.

It’s so nice to be strong – without realizing it – just being better at normal life. Pretty badass, I’d say.

So! I digress. As I’m making breakfast – my doorbell rings. Of course, I’m barely strong enough to hold Phizz back as I answered the door. An older gentleman was there and said, “Hi, miss. I was mowing your neighbor’s lawn and she suggested I come over here and offer to mow your lawn.”

I looked over his shoulder to my front yard – a beautiful sea of green knee-high wisps of weeds and dog shit.

My response: “Hell yeah you can mow my lawn!”

I was stoked about that. Now, I know in a previous post I DID say that I would not play the “poor me, do it for me” card… but he CAME TO ME – thanks to an annoyed neighbor!

Picture taken from inside my air-conditioned house

For the workout today we worked on benchmarks for intermediate athletes.
Back Squat: Goal – 1x bodyweight. TStorm = 135#
Bench Press: Goal – 1x bodyweight. TStorm = 103#
Max Pullups: Goal – 20. TStorm = 23
V sit-ups: Goal – 30. TStorm = 5 (opened up my butt sore from last time I did sit-ups)
400 Meter Run: Goal – 1:35. Tstorm = 1:31

Okay, okay.

My re-commitment to being bolder and more badass than ever has gotten off to a slow start.

I had one of those headaches today that made it hard to live. It was so painful that if a sure-fire remedy included sticking my own thumb up my ass, I would have gone for it.

But alas, sticking thumbs up asses is not a way to get rid of a headache, so I sucked it up and went about my day. Luckily it wasn’t one of those migraines that make me barf for 20 hours. Those suck. I’d do almost anything at a mere suggestion of relief with that type of headache.

Needless to say — I didn’t CrossFit today or pop into a smokey biker bar – I like to be top-notch for those badass missions.

I did find a way, however,  to meet four of my badass categories with one small gesture:

I even folded them!

It started when Nate asked me to go to Costco to buy him some more underwear to send out to Kuwait for him. (We’re both Nevernudes, apparently)

So get this crazy shit:
I found some of his underwear in our chest of drawers — and sent that! Sooo — not only was TStorm 1) a good wife, but I also 2) didn’t spend any money! Which in-turn, gave me $8 to use for 3) a generous cause.

So then! I met my friend Jennifer and her cutie patootie daughter at Moe’s (Leah’s favorite restaurant – she’s 6) and I bought them dinner!

I kept it strickly paleo 4) well, I just didn’t eat

Hollllerrrr!

I went to High Point, NC this past weekend to visit my Mama.

Mama does not have Internet. She doesn’t even have a neighbor with unsecured wireless (oh, yeah, I tried)

Therefor, I had time on my hands to ponder.

I was reminiscing about this so-called journey to becoming a badass. I mean, looking back at the posts… isn’t this blog mis-named? Maybe it would be better titled as: TStorm Fails Every Day ?

I mean – I’ve got to kick this shit in gear.

So it’s on. (again)

I’m amping up my commitment to becoming badass.

I’ve divided up the areas in my life that I will make a commitment to “cleaning up”

Food
Going to follow the Paleo diet. Video on CrossFit Coastal’s post inspired me. This also means I’ll have to cook. I HATE cooking and grocery shopping — so this is going to be painful. I’m going to journal my food entries here.

Volunteerism/Do things I don’t wanna do
Let’s face it. I’m not spontaneous. I hate change. I procrastinate, then do things that I’M ALREADY GOOD AT.
Well, no more. I’m going to take myself out of my comfort zone every day. Like, try out for roller derby. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Mow my own lawn and stop playing the “poor me, my husband’s deployed, will you do it for me” card. Go into that scary biker bar in Hampstead and order a Paleo drink.

Church
Not just go to church – but get involved and make being the Christian Jesus wants me to be a part of every thought/action. Make attending church a no-brainer for the week’s schedule. God has done so much for me. I need to stay present and totally aware that I’m in His grace at all times. I also am going to start planning the next short-term mission trip!

Marriage
Be a better wife. I’ll have to google my way through this.

Pinch Pennies so I can be more Generous
Save $. Stop crazy spending. Have more cash. Then, give more. Period.
I started by donating to Zeke’s Fight Gone Bad campaign. Mine is here.

Dog Training
Phizz is about to go to school just like Mommy. At this school, Phizz learns that Mommy is the ALPHA DOG.

Fitness
Get Fit as F*ck. Amp up workouts. Do as RX’d. (and watch my posture throughout the day)
I’ll be posting my workouts on here

Meet more people
Not just meet people – but get to KNOW them. And learn from them. Hidden gems everywhere!

Who’s with me?

I woke up on Day 38 with that “it’s definitely going to be a badass day” kind of a feeling.

I started my Graduate Teaching Assistant position at UNCW and had lots of other classes, meetings, work and appointments sprinkled throughout the day. I knew I needed energy and a good attitude.

It never occurred to me that I needed more than energy…

I’d need a means of transportation.

My usual morning routine was stunted when I found myself going ape shit over the disappearance of my car keys. I looked in all the usual spots… no key. I watched the clock as precious time was ticking away – and then, of course, I hear fat rain drops that indicate a flood-worthy rain storm rolling in. No doubt, I was definitely going to be walking about 4 miles from the nearest available parking spot at UNCW, in the rain, among “kids” as I trudged my womanly ass to the classroom.

Then it occurred to me that instead of looking in my MY usual “key placement spots” I should look in Phizz’s cave of random shit that she steals from me.

Alas. Under the bed.

Yes, Professor, the dog ate my homework AND my car keys

VW keys cost like $200 to replace. What a Phizz Bitch!

I was able to find my spare valet key and make my way out the door.

But then, like an exclamation point at the end of an insult… this is what I find on my way out the door:

Can Phizz be arrested for defacing currency? Who can I call to take her to jail?

When the rescue agency (where we adopted Phizz) asks for donations this year — they’ll be getting this $20 bill.

Today something happened that will change me forever.

I was on campus meeting with the supervisor for my Grad Assistant position. It was the first day of Fall classes and the UNCW campus was absolutely packed with t-shirt wearing, skateboarding, overly accessorized males and females… all working extra hard to look casual and non-conforming.

I loved it. The energy. I felt “at home” – like I did on the campus of University of West Florida in my undergrad, up-all-night, homecoming queen days.

Until.

I was at a computer at the Library working with a technician to get my university email to forward to my gmail account. It was a super easy process and I was off within a few minutes. When I got up to leave – the most dreadful thing happened.

I heard a student say to her friend, “that woman just left that computer…” as she pointed in my direction.

The love. The energy. The “at home” feeling… all melted away.

Woman?

WHEN DID IT HAPPEN?

When did I make that transition from GIRL to WOMAN?

I know I’m married. I know I’m almost 30. BUT – I’ve always been referred to as “girl” — so when is it that I turned into this woman creature from being a badass-wannabe-little girl?

I wasn’t even wearing a business suit. I was in shorts and a t-shirt – just like all of THEM.

But, I’m not one of them anymore.

I’m a woman.

So – today was the day I got my new crown! No, I didn’t turn into a princess — I went to the dentist to replace the yellowy plastic temporary crown with a fancy new fake tooth made out of white-ish Thera-tooth-colored porcelain.

It started off pretty well.

We were able to rip the old one out pretty painlessly. It did drop down near my throat when it finally gave – but the doc was able to save it before I started to choke.

Then the new tooth was squeezed into place. It was bigger than the old fake tooth.

So, rather than shaving the tooth down to match the tooth on the opposite side, the dentist suggested we “add tooth” to the smaller, less massive counterpart.

It turned into one of those situations — like a haircut, where you keep trimming each side to try to make it even, ya know? Except for trimming… we were ADDING TOOTH.

Now, if you’ve ever seen me in person – you know — I HAVE BIG TEETH to begin with.

example 1: In high school my nick name was “big tooth Thera” — my friend Wiley used to draw pictures of me — it was just all teeth and a tiny body.

example 2: Nate, my dear husband, affectionately calls me “Donkey Teeth.” Whenever I get sassy he looks at me and says, “heehaw!”

example 3: When I upload an image of myself on MyHeritage.com – my celebrity look-alikes are Jason Biggs and Nancy Kerrigan.

So… as you can see, I start dripping sweat as I feel the doctor adding more tooth-matter on each side – to make my smile evenly humongous.

I’d upload a picture – but – this badass wants to have a low profile for once.

smiles,
-T

Long time no post! Sorry to neglect my tens of readers!

This weekend we had our “Grace” finals. The Grace challenge started 2 months ago at CrossFit Coastal. Every so often our gym does a challenge where you do a named workout (like “Helen” or “Grace” etc.) and record your time. Then you train like a badass for 2 months and do the same workout again for time. The goal, of course is to get better. It also holds you accountable for eating healthy, etc.

The “Grace” workout is to simply complete 30 Clean and Jerks as fast as you can. The advanced women are prescribed 95# cleans. I remember – I did NOT want to do it. 2 months ago I could barely clean 85 pounds.

But… in order to be a badass, I went for the advanced division in the June preliminaries… And I got last place. It took me 9:26 to finish.

So, this Saturday, we did the WOD again for the finals… and I did it in 6:49!

Must have been the McDonald's style weightlifting shoes

That’s a 28% improvement! WooHoo!

I won “most improved” and got some money!

Dereck 1st place male 2:41, Kristen 1st place female 5:59, me and Jay most improved male by about 50%

So! Committing myself to badass training paid off — literally!

What am I going to do with the prize money, you ask? I’m going to use it to pay someone to mow my lawn for me.

—-

Yesterday, I went outside the front yard with Phizz and Trooper. As usual, they both took off down the street. I yelled for them to come back and they kept trotting along – never acknowledging the fact that the alpha dog (me) was calling for them to come home.

I did some work around the yard for a few minutes — and in the distance I see not only Phizz and Trooper running back towards the house – but they had another tiny friend with them.

As they got closer I could see that they had a pure-bred chocolate lab puppy with them.

Oh, no! Where did they steal this puppy?!

Taken. By Phizz and Trooper.

I think they must have gone into someone’s house? There’s no way someone would let a perfect little puppy like this out in their yard unattended. I started knocking on doors — no answer.

I brought the puppy back to my house. Waited a few hours.

Long story short — I went for another walk and found the owners — chillin’ in their house. When they saw me with the puppy they were like, (in Napolean Dynamite voice) “Oh, sweet. You found Molly.”

A "never nude" is exactly what it sounds like

I was told today that true badasses never, NEVER wear underwear. Day 33 will be my first day in my life going commando.

I don’t think I can do it.

I’m a big fan of undies. Big fan.

I’ll update.

I thought this journey to becoming a badass would give me incremental progression towards being super cool. I’m not sure if I’ve even gotten to a point where I can claim “plateauing” — In fact, an expert may suggest I’m getting diminishing returns.

Here’s why:

Today

Took a shower. Walked out to bedroom to find Trooper elbows-deep in my underwear.

Trooper loves dead animals AND my underwear. Embarrassing for both of us.

Worked on the computer in the office. Turned around to find a mess. Phizz destroyed a toy and then fell asleep with it in her mouth.

Cute AND disturbing!

Made an economical decision to go to Family Dollar to purchase MORE tampons. I swear, I paid $60 for birth control that would only give me a period every 3 months… and I haven’t stopped bleeding since the day I took it. So now, I’m buying tampons every week. I go to Family Dollar because female hygiene products are pretty cheap there. I believe things are cheap at this store because it’s the MOST MISERABLE PLACE on earth. The employees hate their lives. I would, too – that place always smells like a fart. ANYWAY – I’m buying tampons there… I MISS my “goodnight” call from Nate… feeling miserable…

and then like clockwork, on the store radio I hear, “Allll by myseelllllf” playing loudly.

THEN, I come home and check on this here blog. I can check the stats on how many viewers I’m getting a day. I can also see what people are typing into Google to eventually lead them to TStormBecomesBadass. So… the past 2 days people have searched for “girls with braces” and “young Mexican girls.”

And they found my ass. Haha – suckas.

AND – you know my yellow plastic tooth – the temporary tooth until I get my real, nice white porcelain one? I think it’s getting more yellow. Is that possible?

which one of these does not belong?

Today. Kristen. Deadlifted. 315 pounds.

I barely know any dudes who can do this.

I’m speechless.

http://www.crossfitcoastal.com/workout-blog/kristen-315-deadlift-pr-community-night-grace-finals/

This badass chick is strong as hell.

I love how Kristen is still totally girlie about it, too. She’s not all jacked up on steroids and man-looking. She’s just a normal girl who trains hard and makes goals. Her mission was to do a 315# deadlift before the summer was over. She succeeded.

My goal is to be a badass…. shiiiiiit…..

In an effort to be badasses, Devin and I experienced the Slip n’ Slide this morning after a full breakfast. (Eating a meatlover’s wrap with 2 cups of coffee may not be the smartest thing to do before diving belly-first onto solid ground and then sliding 16 feet into a cold pool of grass water).

I set it up (pretty manly, eh? I can’t water my lawn but I can figure out the mechanics of a toy with a hose) — attached the hose while avoiding the black widow spider chillin’ in the pump house. Tried on the goggles I bought – turns out I purchased them from the kid section. They were so tight they actually made my eyes bulge out and kink my eyelashes. Got some Palmolive soap from the kitchen. Watched Trooper walk by and take a piss right in our acceleration lane. Said a prayer that IF we got hurt, it would be a badass injury. Then – it was go time.

As you can see from the video:

1) It hurt. Excuse any cursing you may hear.

2) Soap made it easier to slide. I recommend apple flavored Palmolive.

3) Soap got in my eye

4) I am bruised. Like I said earlier — it really freakin’ hurt.

5) My neighbors think I’m a freak (or freakIER I should say)

6) Slip n’ Slides seemed SO much LONGER when I was a kid. Was this a short $9 version – or are they all only 16 feet long?

Enjoy this little video of our Slip n’ Slide adventure!

Today officially marks 4 full weeks into the journey of badassdom.

I haven’t confirmed this with Hallmark, but I think the 4 week anniversary is the “plastic” anniversary.

And I got some serious plastic.

$9 at Walmart.

It’s on like donkey kong tomorrow. Devin’s last day in town.

It comes with a boogie. I don't even know what that means.

Only problem is that there is a huge warning that this “toy” is NOT made for adults. Actually – only recommended for children 5 to 12 years old.

Now I’m a little nervous — don’t get me wrong. I’m still excited about the slip n’ slide – I think it will be pretty badass. But it would NOT be badass if I break my neck, tweak my hip or rip a boob off.

It’s how you play the game.

Played pool at Carolina Beach with Devin and Mikemiller. 2 games. $1.50 in quarters. Devin won once. Mike won once. I blame my losses on the distraction of cops walking around everywhere and the cabbage-smelling carnies.

Carolina Beach Carnival - normal during the daylight

Speaking of Carolina Beach — At 9pm this was a quaint, happy Ferris-wheel carnival town. Showed up, met Melissa and gang for dinner at Black Horn. We ate dinner. By 11pm when we finished dinner and walked outside — the town turned to total sketch. Mike met us out there – but by then all the rides were closed. No more funnel cakes. No more booths to buy overpriced tickets. The fun houses didn’t look so fun anymore. Luckily we found an outdoor pool hall with oddly quiet teenagers who were smoking and playing some serious pool.

Always appropriately dressed

How can someone so small be so badass at pool?

I had dirt on my elbow

Saturday played Ultimate Frisbee with CrossFit Coastal folks at Ogden park. It reminded me of middle school soccer when not only was a I picked last but no one ever passed me the ball either. I blame this on being short – maybe I was harder to see in the crowd? I’m pretty sure I saw people make eye contact with me, and then choose to throw the ball to someone else.

Sweaty from running up and down the field screaming, "I'm WIDE open, bitches!"

Later that day I sang Trooper her favorite song. Midway through she just walked away.

Ate a bag of pork rinds.

Went to the beach. Devin read a story to me, Jaime and Maddie about the importance of butt hair.

"the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil"

Lost one of Devin’s shoes. It isn’t under the bed. I’m wondering if Phizz started a cave of treasures somewhere else in the house?

Nate got a cell phone so he can call me while at his current port stop. It only works every 5 phone calls. So I start off answering, “Hey Baby!” … silence. Next call, “Rooniez!” no answer… Next call: “Hello?” no answer… Next: “FREAK NASTY, dude, where did you get this phone? From a crack whore?!” … That’s when he can hear me.

HAHA – Devin just walked in the room and looked over my shoulder. She just found out that one of her shoes is missing.

I’ve got a fever. And it’s not for more cow bell. It’s for an effing slip n’ slide.

slippery wetness saves a hot summer day

too tired to fix bad Photoshop skillz.

The badass journey continues – and this week I have my little sister along for the ride.

A few sweet things:

1. Discovered a new cider beer that I loooove. It tastes more beery – so I feel more badass when I drink it. See pic.

Original Sin Cider Beer - new fave. Kristen always creepin' in the background.

2. I MIGHT have done something crazy and badass. It involves needles. Private pics available…

3. Watched a psychological thriller called The Killing Room.
For the record, I hate movies. I never pay attention.
Not this case, though! I rewound it whenever I even missed a sentence. I missed several parts of the movie because Phizz had gas.

4. Got $40 back for an old Calculus book (took Calc in April)

5. Think I’m going to put the $40 towards a new Slip n’ Slide.

I am a big sister.

18 minutes older than my twin sister, Therese.
3 years older than my step sister, Stacey.
11 years older than my half sister, Devin.

Being older AND being badass means I have a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. It’s the daily cross I bear.

Today I’ll focus on Devin… because she’s VISITING ME!!! She heads to University of Florida for her freshman year in college in a few weeks — she said she wanted to have a badass trip before school starts… so naturally she came to visit my sweet ass in North Carolina.

Since I am 11 years older than Devin, I’ve been able to be present in her development and help mold her into a little mini-me. So… basically… she’s freakin’ awesome.

We’ll have a lot of adventures this week…. stay tuned!

little sisters = happiness

PASSED!!

Well, I failed the EXAM (got a 67) but somehow I passed the class!

I can scream I am so freakin’ happy. I don’t know how this happened but I don’t even care. I passed. Now I have a badass 2 week break  until Fall semester.

LML (love my life)

My mom is visiting me from High Point, NC this weekend. Today is her birthday.

I explained to Mama that her daughter is now on a journey to becoming badass — which means that she’d in-turn have a badass birthday.

She rolled her eyes.

Today:

1. We went to church. (badass)

2. Then I surprised her with a trip to the Salon! She got the works – a cut and color! FABULOUS!

3. We went to get some Martinez Chicken and hang out with Crossfitters (can’t get enough of these people)

4. Came back home to have coconut pie and coffee.

5. Need to pull an all-nighter to study for my Quantitative Methods exam tomorrow… but that will be difficult since I just chugged a 1/4 bottle of some Tylenol Severe Cold Medicine liquid nasty shit. I feel a cold coming on. I keep sneezing and my right nostril is dripping snot. Not cool.

"Hey, Jessi, make my badass mama feel beautiful!"

Badass goal for today: Make someone cry.

Done.

(Sorry Rowen. You are my favorite nephew, even though I’m not your favorite auntie)

Did more research on beeeeeer!

Some badass scientists conducting a study at the University of Wisconsin found that when Guinness Stout was given to dogs with narrowed arteries it reduced the dogs’ clotting – a benefit similar to taking aspirin! Guinness also has antioxidant qualities which slow down the deposits of cholesterol on artery walls.

PLUS Guinness is high in iron content, high in vitamin B (from the brewer’s yeast), lower in calories than many other beers (just 125 per 12 oz),  and other reported benefits such as a half pint a day used to be prescribed to lactating mothers because it helped their production. Apparently the whole reason it’s called “Stout” is because it was drunk by people who did physical labor (Same is true for “Porters).

Now, I’m not sure about giving beer to doggies…

So, appropriately enough – my little Irish nephew, Rowen, was in town visiting to witness my first dark beer. Stacey, his mama (my step-sister) helped with the pouring and the clock-watching.

Stacey pours the Guinness for me

I like my beer like I like my men

I decided to treat my first-Guinness-drinking experiment like a CrossFit workout. I looked at the clock and said 3-2-1 Go! The only thing I didn’t have was chalk on my hands and sweat pouring from my arm pits.

3-2-1 GO!

The clock starts

Half way into it - baby gettin' blurry!

Time is a tickin'

Done, right???

TIME!

If I were at CrossFit Coastal I’d have to put “TStorm: 43 minutes” on the white board. I wouldn’t be ashamed unless everyone else gets like 12 minutes or so…. really it’s all relative.

What is your score/time for drinking a Guinness? I doubt I have a “gym” record… but it was my first Guinness WOD!