I thought this journey to becoming a badass would give me incremental progression towards being super cool. I’m not sure if I’ve even gotten to a point where I can claim “plateauing” — In fact, an expert may suggest I’m getting diminishing returns.

Here’s why:

Today

Took a shower. Walked out to bedroom to find Trooper elbows-deep in my underwear.

Trooper loves dead animals AND my underwear. Embarrassing for both of us.

Worked on the computer in the office. Turned around to find a mess. Phizz destroyed a toy and then fell asleep with it in her mouth.

Cute AND disturbing!

Made an economical decision to go to Family Dollar to purchase MORE tampons. I swear, I paid $60 for birth control that would only give me a period every 3 months… and I haven’t stopped bleeding since the day I took it. So now, I’m buying tampons every week. I go to Family Dollar because female hygiene products are pretty cheap there. I believe things are cheap at this store because it’s the MOST MISERABLE PLACE on earth. The employees hate their lives. I would, too – that place always smells like a fart. ANYWAY – I’m buying tampons there… I MISS my “goodnight” call from Nate… feeling miserable…

and then like clockwork, on the store radio I hear, “Allll by myseelllllf” playing loudly.

THEN, I come home and check on this here blog. I can check the stats on how many viewers I’m getting a day. I can also see what people are typing into Google to eventually lead them to TStormBecomesBadass. So… the past 2 days people have searched for “girls with braces” and “young Mexican girls.”

And they found my ass. Haha – suckas.

AND – you know my yellow plastic tooth – the temporary tooth until I get my real, nice white porcelain one? I think it’s getting more yellow. Is that possible?

which one of these does not belong?