I woke up on Day 38 with that “it’s definitely going to be a badass day” kind of a feeling.

I started my Graduate Teaching Assistant position at UNCW and had lots of other classes, meetings, work and appointments sprinkled throughout the day. I knew I needed energy and a good attitude.

It never occurred to me that I needed more than energy…

I’d need a means of transportation.

My usual morning routine was stunted when I found myself going ape shit over the disappearance of my car keys. I looked in all the usual spots… no key. I watched the clock as precious time was ticking away – and then, of course, I hear fat rain drops that indicate a flood-worthy rain storm rolling in. No doubt, I was definitely going to be walking about 4 miles from the nearest available parking spot at UNCW, in the rain, among “kids” as I trudged my womanly ass to the classroom.

Then it occurred to me that instead of looking in my MY usual “key placement spots” I should look in Phizz’s cave of random shit that she steals from me.

Alas. Under the bed.

Yes, Professor, the dog ate my homework AND my car keys

VW keys cost like $200 to replace. What a Phizz Bitch!

I was able to find my spare valet key and make my way out the door.

But then, like an exclamation point at the end of an insult… this is what I find on my way out the door:

Can Phizz be arrested for defacing currency? Who can I call to take her to jail?

When the rescue agency (where we adopted Phizz) asks for donations this year — they’ll be getting this $20 bill.