I came home today to a scary smell.

Thank God it was not the smell of  Phizz shitting herself…. It was, instead, the undeniable stench of “you almost burned your entire house down by leaving the coffee pot on, you jackass.” I got home, opened the door, and immediately dropped everything in my hands and ran to the kitchen. I turned the cheap little machine off, moved the carafe and then…

I got this overwhelming feeling of having a new lease on life. It’s kind of the same feeling you get when you take a pregnancy test and it’s negative. You get this burst of energy – like a sense of being invincible. Thoughts run through your head of not what could have happened – but all the money you just saved. In this particular case – money saved by NOT burning down my entire house. In my mind – by flying in super-hero style just in the knick of time… I just earned about $200,000.

Sweet!

So – since I have so much MONEY now (from saving our family from total destruction, insurance claims and heartache) I have decided to:

1) Get CrossFit Level 1 Certifications for me and Nate (January Golden, CO)

2) Take a trip to see my sister in law, Kayla (sweet- she lives in Golden, CO)

3) Get lazer hair removal on every inch of my body below my eyelashes.

4) Pay someone to vacuum out all the dog hair in my car.

5) Invest in a strategic marketing campaign to get the word out about CrossFit Coastal’s awesome Women-only on-ramp program.

6) Buy a brain transplant for Phizz.

7) Employ a 24-hour pool boy

Get a pool

9) Hire a personal chef who only makes me Paleo meals and shuts the fuck up when I say I need a beer.

10) Get spray tans on Mondays

11) Massages on Tuesdays

12) Pay off the dean at UNCW to just give me my MBA… and while they’re at it, Pay off all the freaking parking tickets I’m accumulating

Well, only SOME of the items above are true… we’ll find out as the badass journey continues.

OH!

I forgot to mention – a fellow blogger who I don’t know (but admire through our Internet friendship) saw a T-shirt online and thought of me today. I think it’s pretty badass when people act on impulses and share things that remind them of you.

AND!

I’m copying and pasting this from my email account:

Hi!
My name is Thera Storm. I currently train at CrossFit Coastal and go to graduate school at UNCW.

I’m also on a journey to becoming a badass…. as you can see here: www.tstormbecomesbadass.com

I’m not particularly sexy OR badass, however, I am extremely interested in trying out to become a rollergirl.

Do you have tryouts? How can I be involved?

Your response is much appreciated!

TStorm

RESPONSE TODAY (kinda so-so, if you ask me.  I wanted more gumption!)

Hey Thera, I’m sorry but I missed this mail somehow. All you need to do is come to a practice at 6:30 on wed evenings at Scooters Rink to get started. The trainers will give you all the info on what’s required and expected. We have pads for you to borrow a couple of times to try until you decide to pursue it more. You can also use the speed skates at the rink. I suggest you get your own mouth guard though!

So, there ya have it – I made thousands of dollars today AND was offered “pads” from some Cape Fear Roller girls.

Didn’t workout today, but forgot to post yesterday’s WOD:
Hang Squat Cleans and Press 3x3x3x3x3x3x3 each at 83#