Today I received a phone call from a friend – she asked to remain nameless.
The conversation went like this:
Anonymous friend: “Thera. Girrrrl. Have I got a story for you.”
TStorm: “Bring it on!”
Anonymous friend: “Okay, so I got up at 4am to travel this morning. I had a protein shake made with milk. Then I had an iced coffee with cream.”
<BREAK> – so you know when a story starts off with someone describing what they ate for breakfast… it’s going to be a shit story.
continue
Anonymous friend: “Yeah, so I am on the road. I couldn’t find where I was trying to go. I was getting anxious… and I really, really did not feel well.”
TStorm: “You had to poop something fierce, didn’t you?”
Anonymous friend: “Yes. But I couldn’t find a bathroom. I couldn’t find my destination. I was desperate. It was awful…”
and then like a prisoner under interrogation she screams confession-style
Anonymous friend: “I’m a grown ass woman and I shit myself!!!”
TStorm: “Holy shit. I mean, damn girl. Yes, you are too old to be shitting yourself. What did you do?!”
Anonymous friend: “I had to get a HOTEL room so I could clean myself up!”
TStorm: “Oooh, noooo.”
Anonymous friend: “Yes, I shit myself and had to rent a hotel room to take a shower…. all before 9am”
Wow.
Here’s the moral of this story. Most grown women would be mortified and completely done for the day if this happened to them. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure this friend of mine would have preferred to have her day begin WITHOUT penguin walking to a hotel desk clerk asking if they had hourly rates… but she DID realize the humor in the situation and laughed about it.
So, now, whenever I think I’m having a shitty day…
Hey girly, I didn’t know how else to email you but we wanted to invite you to dinner tonight. Sam will be at Coastal today or you can call our home. Hope to see ya
See, there’s just another reason to always have an ammo can lying around…
Wow, what a story!! But I have to say, I did LMAO at your words:
“and then like a prisoner under interrogation she screams confession-style”
HILARIOUS!
Oh gosh!!
Reading this, I was thinking “Oh no, was that me?!?” because any story that starts out with what kind of dairy you had that day usually ends up being my kind of story.
Thank goodness it wasn’t me.
Though I do have a pretty terrible beer and bacon story for ya sometime.
Love you, T!
So Micah is going to a concert in a week where there has been talk that the band hits the ‘brown’ note. It is as you might think, a note that is hit with such intensity that you actually poop your pants. Sooo, there might be another story for your blog soon. I think I’m more excited for him to go to this concert than he is.