I didn’t post yesterday… why? I don’t know… frustrated, maybe?
I got into the gym at noon. I wanted to go at 9am… but at 8:30am I was dealing with a neighbor who rang my door bell. I reluctantly answered the door and he greets me with, “Thera, you know I love you…”
Which translates to… “I HATE YOUR DOG.”
He says, “My wife has a lot of elderly visiting all the time… and her friends are afraid to get out of their cars when they see Phizz outside…” As he’s saying this I see Phizz over his shoulder, running around the cul-de-sac, chasing after a car, hopping and licking their driver’s side door window as a terrified grandma drives through our neighborhood at 5 miles an hour.
I almost broke into tears. I apologized and said I’d feel the same way if I were my neighbor.
I’m so frustrated with this dog. She jumps over our fence and terrorizes our neighborhood. She goes out the doggie door, into the backyard, and jumps the fence. I hate not having control! The best way to get her back is to get in my car… and when she sees me drive by she’s like, “Mommmmmy! Take me for a ride!”
I finally got her back home and had her chew on a busy bone while I searched the Internet for “Where to drop off a stray dog, Wilmington, NC”
I finally settled for search results when googling, “Shock collar for training the most retarded dog on the planet.”
I am not usually into shock-therapy-torture. I can’t imagine ever shocking my little well-behaved Trooper. But Phizz….. oh, I can’t wait to shock the shit out of her! I will press that button so fast every time I say the word “NO” as she jumps up on the fence to escape the yard.
What do you think?
Anyway…
I got to the gym at NOON only to start the warm up… get ready to do the workout… KELLY… the one benchmark I NEVER HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FINISH… to have my period and a nice case of diarrhea sneak up on me 1 minute before go time!
Workout of the Day
“Kelly”
Five rounds for time of:
Run 400 meters
30 Box jump, 24 inch box
30 Wall ball shots, 20 pound ball
Always!
Can’t I have a normal day? One with a solid stool and no need for a tampon??!!
So, I go to the bathroom… discover I need a tampon, get out to have Zeke shout, “Okay everyone, outside! 3-2-1 GO!” I said, “I can’t start just yet… I started my period and I’m pretty sure I just pinched a liquidy loaf that’s not all the way done yet.”
And he said, “GO!”
So, I ran the first 400 M. Got back into the gym. Got my keys. Went to my car. Got a tampon. Went to the bathroom. He’s like, “You’re on the clock!”
And I’m like, “I don’t fucking care! I have to put a tampon in or I’ll bleed all over your gym!”
Okay… Let’s just face it… I turn into psycho hose beast when I’m working out.
Anyway… went to the bathroom… came out… and he said that I could start over again.
Bah humbug.
I started the jog over again. I muscled through the pain of the workout. And I finished.
That’s all I really cared about. Finishing. Since I’ve never been able to get through all 5 rounds before.
I was glad when it was all over… but it was just a frustrating day.
Not to be a downer, but we tried an electric fence for our “Phizz-like” dog, Hank. It just taught him that he needed a running start to jump through it. Several hundred dollars and a lot of manual laber down the toilet. We now have a fence (also extremely expensive) that he continues to jump over like an equestrian horse. I feel for anyone who has the misfortune of ringing my doorbell, because as soon as I open the door, stupid Hank charges through and mows them down. I also googled a good place to “surrender” Jeremy’s dumb dog. It’s hard to find a no-kill shelter. I really sympathize with your dog problems! I have them too!
P.S. Hank ate our house in Florida (walls, doors, windows, carpet). The house is still standing because of wood-filler and spackle.
I sympathize. Our dog is a loveable nuisance who barks insanely and we ultimately broke down and got a shock collar. It works and she knows its the collar so she doesn’t bark when its on and doesn’t get shocked anymore so I don’t feel so bad about it.
As for the jumping over the fence, you may want to contact The Coalition to Unchain Dogs, http://www.unchaindogs.net
I think they have some way of making the fences so dogs can’t jump over them.
Dori
CrossFit Durham
I think you may have to use extreme measures for that dog. It ain’t right in the head.
The workout sounds like it sucks. I don’t think I have ever done it. 3 rounds sound reasonable-5 is just crazy.
We did this workout yesterday that consisted of
30 Curtis P’s (squat clean-followed up by lunge on each leg-with bar on back and then get it overhead 1 time) 45% of bodyweight- a lot for me
30 pullups
30 backsquats (same weight as Curtis P
I thought I was going to cry at the end. I could actually feel the tears welling up. I didn’t though. Headed back today. Hopefully I’ll be ripped this summer like you!
Time to install barbed wire on the top of the fence.
Bella has a shock collar for barking. She loves it. (Kidding, she shivers like a vibrator on crack when I show it to her.) But it keeps her from barking – sometimes I just have to show it to her and she stops. It’s made our relationship with our neighbors much friendlier.
You should get one of the “sport dog” ones that have up to a mile range (means you don’t need line-of-sight to shock the shit out of her). Also means she might not be able to destroy it as quickly as some others… She’ll learn pretty soon that you control the shock, and that means you’re the boss. Hopefully.
So I take this to mean the training lessons didn’t go well?