I found this picture today and it cracked me up.

This is Trooper pouting the day we came home with her little sister, Phizz.

"No, Mommy and Daddy! Noooo!! Why did you ruin our perfect set up?!"

Thanks, Micah for your clever, insightful and edgy post. It’s something that most CrossFit women (especially beginners) wonder… but never talk about:

“I work out like a caveman, rockstar athlete… WHY IS MY ASS STILL BIG?!”

FAHBG Post HERE

I felt the same way — especially when I first started CrossFit. Thank God I was tracking my progress in my Success Journal… because if I only measured my progress by how my jeans were fitting me… I would have quit a long time ago!

I started CrossFit with a big booty. And I’ll probably have a big booty for the rest of my life. That’s just the way it’s gonna be!

Now, if you’re looking to round out your rump… good news! Check out the link above!

I have a Netflix account. I don’t know why. I hate movies.

It’s the membership where you can get unlimited movies, one at a time, all month long for like $9.99 or something.

It takes me on average about a month and a half to watch a single movie.

Today I decided it had been 2 months and it was time to open the red envelope. The disc sleeve described a movie called “God Grew Tired of Us.”

I don’t remember putting this on my queue…  but it seemed interesting enough.

I popped the DVD in…

and it was a documentary called “The Future of Food.”

Netflix grew tired of me, I guess

Mismatch!

So, not only do I suck… But someone who works for Netflix sucks, too.

You know it’s time to do laundry when the only pair of underwear you have left are bedazzled with the word “Bride” across the front. And you know you’ve gotten down to this pair more often than you should, because they have a period stain.

Therese taught me how to make delicious and healthy paleo pancakes!

"Pancakes" without any of the ingredients from pancakes

Paleo Pancakes

Ingredients:
2 eggs
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup almond butter
1/2 teaspoon vanilla (or more for taste)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (or more for taste)

Mix all ingredients in bowl. On medium heat, pour onto a flat skillet greased with healthy oil (coconut oil or olive oil or canola oil). Flip when batter has set up decently.

Serve with a fruit salsa or fresh fruit. We ate them completely plain and they were great!

In October 2004, my twin sister Therese Frentz was serving our country in the Air Force. At that specific time she was on her first deployment and in Baghdad… a few days before her R&R.

While in the Green Zone – Therese and 2 other officers were the victims of a suicide bombing that took place about 10 feet away from where they were sitting.

Therese - minutes after bombing October 14, 2004

Therese was burned over 30% of her body. Her ear was ripped off, her kidneys were lacerated and she had shrapnel penetrate her entire body.

Therese had a long recovery.

Therese in Intensive Care - then in hospital for over 6 months

The road to recovery has had many more implications than just the physical healing. The news always reports deaths – but you never think about our injured veterans whose lives are changed forever.

Therese, 5 years later, now has to deal with the physical and emotional scars that this event has left on her life.

To this day- Therese has NEVER stepped out of the house without wearing long sleeved shirts and pants.

She hides her scars… in San Antonio. It’s hot as hell and she still covers up. She keeps herself and the world from seeing  her healthy, yet scarred body.

It's hot as hell and Therese is wearing long sleeves and pants

What Therese doesn’t know is that she is beautiful.

She is a hero.

She exudes strength and courage.

She is… in fact… a badass.

Therese has just started at CrossFit Alamo and she will be participating in the Fight Gone Bad challenge. This is a nationwide workout to support an amazing cause. More details here.

I spoke with Therese about this – and we came up with a personal challenge:
IF SHE RAISES $200 FOR THE WOUNDED WARRIOR PROJECT… THERESE WILL DO THE WORKOUT IN HER SPORTS BRA.

Let’s do it for the wounded warriors. Let’s do it for Therese. Let’s do it for beautiful women all over the globe who hide themselves because they don’t see themselves the way others do – perfect.

The wrinkles on our faces. The scars on our bodies. Our stretch marks from giving birth. These lines tell the stories of who we are and what we’ve accomplished. We are beautiful and unique. Just the way God intended us to be.

Donate here: FGB Therese Frentz

There will be a follow-up post and updates as we progress with this challenge!

I just went to YouTube and looked for inspirational workout/pull-up type videos.

I’m not sure if you have YouTube experiences like I do… I start off watching cute videos of puppies, and then next thing I know… an hour goes by… and I’m watching videos of deformed baby monsters.

Anyway – I’m doing my little search and happen upon this:

Seriously?
I’ll just say it: WHAT THE F?

Call me jealous if you want – but I’ll tell you I’m not.

Girls — if you’re pretty. and athletic. can do pull-ups. Have a sexy voice. know how to run a website. can properly apply flattering makeup and own lacy panties… Whatever the hell your talents are… here’s an idea – put them to good use.

Stop trying to get attention from strangers on the Internet because you never got it from your daddy.

Ugh.

Just embarrassed by self-absorbed dumbasses who suck the goodness out of the beautiful talents we’ve been given.

If you’re a guy who wants to meet GiGi – go for it. Stay away from me. She and the people who give her attention perpetuate the insecurity and depression that waste so much of our society’s time.

Yeah. Fail. I couldn’t make it a whole day without undies.

I’m a fan. What can I tell ya? I’m just a fan of underpants.

Nevernude for life,
-TStorm

I started a new birth control that is supposed to make it so you only get your period once every 3 months.

I’ve been on my period every single day since I started the pill pack… a month and a half ago.

FML.

Have you ever had trouble describing your face or a friends “look” to someone else?

A while back I discovered a way to see which celebrity most matches one’s face – so now when you need to describe yourself – you can simply say which celebrity most resembles you. This is done with face recognition software run by a website called MyHeritage.com. Here you can upload a picture of yourself and receive your top 5 or so celebrity matches.

I uploaded the prettiest picture I have of myself to see who my celebrity matches are. Therese (twin sister) did this and got Angelina Jolie.

Results:

I am a 98% match to Jason Biggs.

Click here to see me morph into Jason Biggs before your very eyes

He’s the guy on American Pie who humped the pie, remember?

I tried using another picture. Again, Jason Biggs. Another picture — Now Nancy Kerrigan.

Dude. Good thing looks having absolutely nothing with being badass. right?

Trooper is my little quiet sidekick. She is gentle and super passive… I think if she were a person she’d fit the “EMO” category.

Today I was sitting here at the computer and I looked behind me — and there she was trying to bury her bone in the corner of the office. She’s a bit prissy — prefers to bury bones in crisp clean linens, fresh laundry and the carpet.

Doesn’t she looked totally embarrassed? After I took the video she put the bone down and ran to hide under the bed.

Phizz stole the bone and jumped on top of the bed – absolutely clueless… about anything.

I can haz cheezeburgerz!

Aaah.

I’m going to have to ratch up their commitment to being badass along with me — we’re all failing pretty badly.

I’m in a quandary.

1) If badasses eat healthy (to fuel the machine) AND 2) drink beer (because beer is more badass than wine, right?)

Then…

What type of beer would a BadAss drink?

I googled, “Healthiest beer on the market” and the top result came back:

1. Guinness

WTF?

So then I googled, “best low calorie beer” and the results were some sites listing beer and their calorie counts:

Natural Light Beer has 97 calories.
Schlitz Light Beer has 96 calories.
Miller Lite Beer has 96 calories.
Pabst Blue Ribbon Extra Light has 70 calories.
Budweiser Light has 108 calories.
Generic Beer has 104 calories.
Coors Light has 102 calories.

Another link brought me this information:

Budweiser Select – 4.343 Beer Score (4.3% alcohol / 99 calories)
Michelob Ultra – 4.315 Beer Score (4.1% alcohol / 95 calories)

Milwaukee’s Best Light – 4.595 Beer Score (4.5% alcohol / 98 calories)
Miller Lite – 4.375 Beer Score (4.2% alcohol / 96 calories)

Coors Banquet Beer – 4.117 Beer Score (4.2% alcohol / 102 calories)
Keystone Premium – 4.074 Beer Score (4.4% alcohol / 108 calories)
Keystone Light – 4.038 Beer Score (4.2% alcohol / 104 calories)
Coors Light – 3.521 Beer Score (5.0% alcohol / 142 calories)

If you look at Coors Light – it still has 142 calories… and that’s a LIGHT beer! I’m not even going to look up the calorie count on my FAVORITE BEER — WOODCHUCK — I’m scared.

Time for a vote?

What beer would a badass drink?

Every BadAss needs a sidekick. I have two.

Sidekick 1 Stats

Her bubbly personality took a turn when Phizz entered our lives

Name: Trooper
Age: Almost 4
Breed: No clue. We think she’s part grey hound, Basenji and angel
Loves: Mommy, daddy, walks, underwear and rubbing on dead animals.
Hates: Awkward silent stares, baths, cats and Phizz

Sidekick 2 Stats

She's either destroying something or sleeping

Name: Phizz Bitch. Namesake explained here

Age: 1 year
Breed: All the crackhead breeds combined for this special mutt. Dalmation, Bulldog, Pit Bull…
BadAss Characteristics: Doesn’t give a f*ck about anything or anyone.
Has destroyed: our leather couch, my $150 sunglasses, our carpet, friend’s cell phones, all my black heels, my favorite flip flops, our good standing in the neighborhood.