I own one.

Get this, though. My little bitch of a Roomba SKIPPED TOWN on my ass.

I can’t find the fucker.

"Kiss my badass goodbye!"

(Pardon my language — but I’m upset! I CAN’T FIND IT!!”

I started it this morning in the middle of the living room — and when I got home — I searched the house for it – and my little vacuum robot is nowhere to be found! It quit. Ran away.  Hasta La Vista’d. Peaced out. Gave me the finger and told me to take my BadAss self and shove it.

I got out-badassed by my vacuum.

Even badasses like a flower delivery surprise!

Aww! I’m gushing! My “Rooniez” (nickname for the cutest husband on the planet) sent me flowers today! And he’s  DEPLOYED right now! We’re two months in to a 7 month deployment. (I wonder if he’s been bad… hmmm??? He better not come back with any cold sores!)

P.S. Here’s proof that I have a husband:

Storm Wedding Day March 19, 2005

Thera and Nate 80's 5K Race

"The Christmas Card shot" - in CO at Kayla & Jeremy's wedding!

At every second of every day I’m asking myself, “WWBAD?” – What Would a Bad Ass Do? It’s really helped me with the important decisions in life – like whether to eat raw meat, how much toilet paper to use, which calls to ignore, closing sentences on email correspondence, toning down my over usage of exclamation points! and whether to smile with teeth or without.

In fact – I’m already starting to recognize some toughness in others.

I’ve witnessed several badass things today:

1. Kristen Martinez doing a 125# push press

Elizabeth is blurry she's so BadAss

2. A group of military wives using speaker phone to call Soulja Boy at 678-999-8212

3. Elizabeth Bailey doing burpees in the middle of Elijah’s restaurant… with heels

4. Debbie Houghton asking the tattoo guy, “Yes, we’d like to inquire about nipple piercings”

I swear, every day is totally open and new to awesome experiences. It’s going to be a badass summer.